Are you there, Jim Bob?

It all started when I became pregnant with Anna.  I started reading blogs written by other moms.  I was given an insight into what lied ahead for me.  I was intrigued, encouraged and excited to start my own journey.  I saw pretty monogrammed dresses with matching hairbows, perfectly planned playdates and put together mamas with the best hair, cute outfits and a beautifully decorated (and spotless) home.  I could do this.  this should be easy.

ahem.

As wonderful as the Internet, and blogs specifically, can be...it truly became a stumbling block in my contentment as a mother.  They made it look so easy...Why was I struggling?  Why didn't these moms have spit up all over their clothes...and wait a minute?!  Clothes??!!  They got dressed. every day? with a baby?!  there were certainly days i counted it all joy when i actually brushed my teeth and put on yoga pants.  How did they find time to cook such elaborate meals?  How many times in a day did these ladies vaccum those spotless floors...and where in the world is all that big, bulky baby gear that was now overtaking not only my living room...but my entire house?!  I just didn't feel like I was doing it right.  I was certainly not adding up, and perhaps I just wasn't made for this like I always dreamed I was.  After all, i am sure michelle wouldn't call Jim Bob to pick up Chick-Fil-A because she forgot to start dinner!

Enter self-doubt, jealousy, and lonlieness...oh, the lonlieness.

It happened again this week.  Dinner was a big fail, the girls were not listening and things were just not working out the way i had envisioned.  (mind you, its only Tuesday).  I have a closet full of (yet to be played) games, a cabinet full of (yet to be made) crafts, and pages of (yet to be tried) recipes.  I just felt like I was failing at this Motherhood/homemaker thing.  I search Pinterest and see these beautiful home projects, creative kid activities and yummy dinners.  and i just feel like a failure.  You see, I let my personal idealogies and expectations of motherhood damage my outlook.  I allowed someone else's talent to discourage my attempts.  I allowed my own insecurites to win. again.

This is not easy to "put out there" for all to see.  I struggle, almost daily, with my insecurities as a mom. But what we all must realize is that we cannot master everything.  Some of us may excel at keeping a nice home, while others of us excel at planning the coolest kids parties.  Some of us excel at sitting on the floor playing Barbies with our kids, and others of us excel at planning their next spelling lesson.  The point is, we cannot have it all...and when we try to have it all, we lose sight of the talents and skills we do have.  We focus on what we do not have and let our accomplishments be diminished by the shadow of our self-inflicted "failure."

Next time you read a blog and think a mom has it all together, ask her about her laundry pile.  Her to-do list. Her paperwork stash.  Chances are, she doesn't have it all.  We are all struggling with something and we are all in this together.  Do not compare yourself with the mom standing next to you, instead reach out a hand and ask her what you can do to help.  When you doubt who you are, you are not allowing your child to have the best of you.  Let them know it is okay to not be perfect....let yourself know it is okay to not be perfect.


So, next time you are on Pinterest and pin your next new dinner recipe, your weekly craft and household project...be easy on yourself.  take parenthood one day at a time...or one tantrum at a time, or one dirty diaper at a time....  take a deep breath, look in the mirror and know you are good enough. You can do this....even if Jim Bob got the nuggets.